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3 became 4..

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It’s been a while since I wrote anything and to be honest with the world as it is at the minute I haven’t felt like using my phone for anything other than mindlessly scrolling through the internet whilst I sit on the toilet and attempt to take a five minute break from the chaos.

That chaos quickly follows me in to the serene surroundings of the tiled walls as always. Our three year old bursts in looking for something to entertain himself with whilst Boris keeps us under lock and key.

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote and the three of us became four in late December. Our beautiful daughter arrived just in time to celebrate another exciting and food coma inducing Christmas. Our peaceful bundle of joy quickly learnt the hierarchy in the house and has preceded to spend the last 6 months lying, rolling and sitting in every position possible to enable her to follow her brothers every dizzying move.

I think all parents have found a new appreciation for nurseries and schools during this time and we are no different. Fortunately the endless online ordering of ridiculous items (mainly by myself) to keep us entertained also gave us an unlimited supply of cardboard and packaging to erect Pontypandy highstreet, albeit with a few arguments and heated discussions with my son over the structural integrity and characteristics of the stone built buildings, soon to be the scene of Norman Price’s next escapade.

Parks were closed, easy I thought I’ll just buy a swing and slide. Three weeks later and having enlisted mummy to check argos stock everyday at the five o’clock bottle feed we rose with elation when we discovered both golden eggs were in stock. Having navigated the new world shopping experience I felt slightly guilty emerging from the shop with a six foot slide precariously balancing in my trolley whilst people joined the back of the three mile queue snaking around the Sainsbury’s car park.

Safe to say the swing and slide have been used a mere handful of times. I guess being stuck in the garden on even the nicest of days can’t replace the excitement of pulling up to the all encompassing fantasy world of the local park.

The journey continues during this strange and scary world, I only hope that children everywhere find the love and attention they need, even if it falls in the form of your little sister slobbering all over your nose whilst you try to eat your sixth kinder egg bribe of the day..

Peppa.

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A recent trip to Peppa pig world saw myself, mummy, nanny and grandad exploring the world of Peppa and co.

If you’ve ever been sat at 6 o’clock on a Saturday morning watching Peppa as your three year old throws cornflakes at his face in the hope some will land in his mouth, only to wish you could emerse yourself in the world of Peppa then this is undoubtedly the place. Wether it’s the dangerous thrill of grandpa pigs boat or the dizzy heights of windy castle even I was still wanting more by the end of the day.

As we arrived the initial disappointment of having to park in a large flat car park and not on a 45 degree hill was soon forgotten as we saw the enormity of the toy shop walking through the doors. It’s how I imagined a toy shop would look if I was to go back to my childhood, the sort of place I would love to do a supermarket sweep around..

A short pleasant walk through some forested area saw us arrive at Peppa World.. The excitement tangeable with every child in sight dragging their parents already tired and weary bodies closer to this unexplored land. As we walked through the gates to wonderland the first thing that popped into my head was how well kept and clean the place was, this considering every day an army of unruly small people descend on the place with no care for the inch perfect grass or perfectly manicured topiary bushes, I can only imagine their brains whirling at 100 mph in a frantic decision of which ride to try and stand up on next.

The benefit of having nanny and grandad with us, despite the fact that they are Fred’s favourite people in the world is that it meant my knees could occasionally have a rest from being rammed against the dashboard of one vehicle or another. So grandad drove the cars and nanny rode the dinosaurs, and then they took Fred for a go with them as well. To see the joy on his face is what places like this are made for.

Now Fred has never been one for sitting still whilst you try and get a nice picture but for some reason after walking past the photo house he had set his mind on having a studio day. Eventually whilst the others explored we snuck off to get his headshots taken, after spending five minutes deciding the exact setting for this shoot he sat his little bum down on some steps Infront of the green screen. And that was that, he just sat there with a big grin on his face and within a couple of minutes we had a lovely photo of Fred driving grandpa pigs train grinning like a Cheshire cat.

If you fancy a break from the rides even the playground doesn’t disappoint. A hilly mix of slides and tunnels with everything a child could wish for. Fred however chose to ignore all of this expensively purpose built childrens activity equipment and opted for the rather large astro turf hill by a slide. A decision we would later learn resulted in an astro turf burn on his belly from his unusual approach to descending the mountain. A scar to remember at least.

After emptying a pocket full of coins into the rapids and saying a quick hello to Peppa and George it was time to go, all in all a fantastic day and thanks to my beautiful girlfriend I now have a new favourite pair of daddy pig socks..

Lost your balls daddy?

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Having a three year old I’ve become accustomed to dealing with a rough nights sleep or poo on the carpet but one thing I’m still not used to is their undeniable ability to consistently, albeit accidently find and hit your testicles.

Every time Fred climbs over me he finds his heel dug into my crown jewels, my reaction immediately telling him he’s hit the target as he grins and informs me yet again it is my balls crushed underneath his size six feet by exclaiming ‘that your balls daddy?’

Even affection sometimes comes in the form of a ball bashing as he sprints headfirst to give me a cuddle and his skull crashes into my gonads, leaving mummy in stitches and me feeling like I might need them.

Once when he was still a little nipper and biting everything in sight a normal day at home turned disastrous as he found me gracefully sat man spreading on the sofa and immediately ran to bite my crotch, obviously completely unaware of the dire consequences and that daddy would spend the next ten minutes writhing on the floor like a wounded seal.

In fact this unfortunate circumstance has happened so often that one day he decided action must be taken! ‘Where’s your balls daddy, you’ve lost your balls’ he quipped. Seconds later and with my lost and found posters at the ready Freddie kindly informed me that the only person to help with this atrocity was in the form of Thomas the tank engines good friend Percy. A half hour phonecall followed as I was passed from Percy onto Annie and Clarabel, eventually only to find out that in fact Gordon was the culprit after all and that mummy was very unimpressed by the scenario which had just unfolded in front of her.

Fortunately he’s still too young to understand all of this but one day I’m sure it will all be forgotten and my crown jewels will finally be free to live without fear..

Princess

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Right now it’s hard to imagine what you’ll look like. Maybe a button nose like your mum or maybe those big eyes like your brother. One thing I do know now though is that the three of us love you more than anything.

You’re already your brothers best friend, mummys little girl and daddys princess. The thought of you growing up already scares me and your not even here yet.

I can’t wait to see your first yawn, hear your first cry, see the first time your brother tells you off for eating his toys.

It’s a bit of a crazy world out here but don’t worry your brothers got your back. We’re not used to having a little princess around so bear with us whilst we find our feet, then we’ll help you find yours.

See you soon princess..

Just a box please

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‘They’d be happy with just a cardboard box’.

Something my grandma would say and I’m sure we’ve all heard it. Freds playroom sometimes looks like somebody has robbed toys r us with the sole purpose of finding the most eclectic mix of items possible, and although I don’t particularly like it when people tell me my son just needs a square brown box to stimulate his mind they are one hundred percent correct. What starts out as an empty box can so quickly evolve into a mission to recreate half of pontypandy.

If you fancy making your own there’s just a few things you’ll need..

• Alot more time than you initially thought it would take
• A poor sense of architectural design (I forgot what a lighthouse even looked like and yes the doors open the wrong way)
• Any crayon you can find strewn across the floor
• Some Amazon delivery boxes you should have put in the recycling last week
• And last but not least a three year old who is happy to put up with dads wonky fire station doors, packing tape strapped across the front of the buildings and Amazon branding all over the cafe

Luckily for us we have the last one..

Baby number two

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We haven’t even taken time to check wether the baby’s an avocado or a peach yet.

In fact sometimes I’m so laid back I forget we’ve got another baby on the way. With another scan around the corner I’m sure it’ll sink in soon. Maybe when we know if we’re having another boisterous boy faceplanting the floor every five seconds or a beautiful baby girl faceplanting the floor every five seconds..

I didn’t realise how different the second pregnancy would be, there’s just not time to spend every waking minute thinking about it and poor mummy is having a tough one this time around, looking around the house you can tell our supermum isn’t feeling so super. We just don’t function as well without mummy at the helm, we probably take for granted that we can spend most of our time leaving a trail of destruction behind us as the mummy fairy looks after us both.

I’m sure we’ll be back to normal soon though and then an exciting Christmas ahead. This is one present we can’t return though so I hope Fred likes it..

Swimming with Red Rum

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Saturday morning swimming is one of my favourite times, away from all the electronic distractions of the house and what has become modern life. It’s amazing how much you can enjoy being drowned for two minutes straight by a watering can. As I ride around on a float that has now been drafted in as red rum jumping the national Fred chuckles with laughter and its those little moments that you hold onto.

Fred loves swimming and most the time it’s get up and go but sometimes he just knows how to play the game. We enter into some sort of business transaction to establish whether we are going swimming or not. Apparently Michael Phelps also needed a kinder egg at 8 o’clock in the morning in order to be at his best.

And of course each egg must be checked before deciding which one is most suited for this particular occasion, and thus give him the strength to keep lifting that watering can..

An Introduction

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Let’s start with an introduction, there’s me, mummy and our little man Fred. Not to mention another baby on the way, and a whole lot of noisy toys and midnight explosions ahead. I’d say I feel ready for the second child but I’m not sure I ever will be really, it’s what we wanted don’t get me wrong it’s just strange to imagine another little one rolling around the playroom floor.

We’ve grown into our little family over the last three years and Fred is our world, although i can’t wait for the next chapter in our lives I can’t hide I’m nervous. I’m just getting used to spending my day breaking figure after figure with what feels like my size sixteen feet as I stomp around the playroom like Godzilla on the loose, all in the vague hope that I can get our three year old boy to put down Fireman Sam and eat some broccoli. Finding the sanctuary of the sofa isn’t even a sure thing anymore as I sit down and find Marshall all fired up where he shouldn’t be and half my spaghetti Bolognese down my shirt.

But I’m excited our family is growing and to see my boy teaching our baby all the best ways to wind up mummy is something i can’t wait for, his current favourite seems to be the wrestling move known as the mummy bomb! (No mummies are hurt in the process and delivery of the mummy bomb).

This blog really is just a way for me to show the kids one day what life was like when we started this journey. We’re just a normal young couple navigating life and children and as I write this I can’t help but get distracted by every little piece of play dough I can see stuck in the rug below my feet.

I hope somebody at least got to enjoy that play dough pizza with sprinkles..